Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Benefit of Mom on

I just got off the phone with my mother who has recently joined Facebook. She has eight friends and has already blocked seeing my sister's status updates because they can be COLORFUL, shall we say.
Today she told me she saw pictures from [event withheld] and [people withheld] looked like the banjo players from Deliverance. I've never seen this movie, but luckily I found the clip online:

I guess this is a very vague post if you can't see the original pictures, but I hadn't laughed that hard in awhile because the truth can sometimes be hilarious, as they say. My mom's a funny lady.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Day 2 of Training: Completed!

I did it. I ran 3 miles on my lunch break with my runner person. I feel good; I think I'm still sweating, but that's OK. Last night was stretch and strengthening with yoga. The yoga teacher wore orthopedic shoes during the whole class. She moves at my speed, that one. Also, a fire alarm was going off during our "meditation time" at the end of class. Chi: Unharnessed.
I did a little more stretching and strengthening on my walk over to the gym, too. Only this time, it was because a rather large, elderly woman tripped and fell in the middle of a crosswalk on Madison Avenue. Usually, I'd laugh my head off, step over her and continue laughing, but we're at the tail end of the giving season so I tried to help her up.
It was difficult, but not because she was of above average weight. She was wearing a disgusting floor-length fur coat (for shame!) which was VERY slippery and slick from the lubricated souls of murdered animals. I tried to grip her arm, but it was so gross and sliding all around. She just kept saying, "Ohhh, help! Help me up!" Jesus, lady, I'm trying! I wanted to tell her that she should walk more like me: without a fur coat and with your head down at all times. Looking people in the eye and making human connections is very hazardous.
Tomorrow: 2 mile run or cross training.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Impending Doom

So, yes, a half marathon. That's 13.1 miles. That's a little more than three times the distance I've ever ran in my entire life. Sit with that for a moment. Are you scared? Because I'm scared.
The race is on March 21st, but let's not call it a race. Let's call it an impending accomplishment. I can do this, right? I find out on January 6th if I even have a slot in the "impending accomplishment" (sidenote: after googling "impending" to make sure I'm using the word correctly, the first suggested drop down is "impending doom" - gulp).
After I - ahem - win the lottery, I get to pay $90 to run until I can't feel my lower extremities. I've already been warned that my toe nails are going to be doing some strange things over the next few months (!!) of training.
But, let's back up. A few weeks ago my dear friend and lifelong member of Team That's What She Said emailed me asking if I wanted to sign up for the lottery with another member of Team TWSS. I hesitated, but thought this would be a great reason to get in shape and have a goal to work towards. When I went to sign up, the site asks a very obnoxious question: "What is your projected finish time?" And, really, what do I know about running times? I selected 4.5 hours - seems reasonable, right? Well, I get a pop-up that says, "For the safety of you and the other runners, you must complete this race in under 3 hours and 30 minutes". Shoot. Not looking good so far.
Tonight is the first day until the end of my life, er, of the rest of my life. I'm following this training program, so expect to hear very loud whining from across the New York Metropolitan area on every Sunday until March 21st. I think it's very cruel to make me run 3 miles on day TWO of the training, but we'll get there guys. Also, I've decided that whether or not I'm accepted, I'm still going to train.
Luckily, I have the support of two wonderful friends, the new running shoes from Santa Claus and various running outfits to pull sweat away from my body. Did I ever mention that during a 5K, I sweat so much that my iPod stopped working? Yes, it was tucked in between the two sports bras I have to wear - not the best safe-keeping place - but still, pretty gross.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Holiday Lessons

I learned a lot yesterday on Christmas. The only lesson I feel comfortable sharing right now is that commercials really work, especially on my sister. As I type this, I'm wearing one of my (favorite) gifts from her: a hot pink Snuggie. She also bought a Bump-It for her best friend and a Pedi Paws for our family cat - the poor thing has already lost two nails as a result.

Related: If I can fit into the child-sized version of a Snuggie, does that mean I don't have to diet or train for that half-marathon I signed up for?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Say you know a diabetic. Say this diabetic may or may not be related to you. Is it "recommended" to eat or drink 7 (full-sized) powdered donuts, a quart of chocolate milk, a medium Coke, medium French fries and two chocolate fudge sundaes from McDonald's and another bowl of ice cream with a few more cans of full-sugar soda in about 6 hours?

Really, this is a rhetorical question, but isn't that horrifying?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Frightened Rabbit

One of the most treasured bands in my iTunes, Frightened Rabbit, only has one album. They have a new single that is so beautiful. I admit that one of the reasons I love them is their Scottish accent. I'm really fascinated that most foreign accents disappear when people are singing, but not this band. I love (non-United States based) accents so much.
Please to enjoy:

Their next album doesn't release until March 2010, coincidentally the same month I may be participating in the NYC half-marathon (I entered the lottery today). So, I'll be very happy to at least have some beautiful music to listen to during my last moments on Earth before running 13 miles.