Is This An Audience or An Oil Painting?

Sometime in the absolutely drunken haze of Saturday, I agreed to something completely stupid. Surprising, right? Four of my friends were sitting on the edge of a planter in the backyard of Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg, and I was standing in front of them and made the comment that I felt like a (bad) stand-up comedian. So, I start telling the four jokes I know - all of which I didn't write - but have been in my rotation since fourth grade.
Well, the details are fuzzy (again: surprising, right?), but within minutes a friend had his fancy phone out looking for open mic nights in the area in the next two weeks. I agreed to do stand-up because "it has to be SO easy." Crap.
So, instead of having a relaxing few weeks left in New York, I have to write a stand-up routine because a promise is a promise. There will be NO VIDEO of this, but I'm imagining it will go something like this:

Wins and Fails at Work

Fail: I can't access lala.com anymore. No more musak, and I'm left to the contraints and lottery of Pandora.com now.

Win: I just booked a business trip in Greenville, SC in a few weeks and have decided to stay in a bed-and-breakfast that has an "Out of Africa" theme. Awesome. Maybe I should have splurged and booked the romantic package for two, for one?

Another win is the company's (wise) decision to finally move me into a window office, so I don't lose my mind in my old "closet converted into an office" office. Here's my new view: