2010: A Year in Review

I was emailing with my friend Lillie the other day about how our holidays went, and I told her that I couldn’t believe how far we have both come and how much has happened to us in the last year. In January, when I was still living in NY, we went to Borders together after going to the gym. Waiting in a massive line to buy our discounted calendars, we were talking about how Christmas 2009 went (horrible) and how our families were (in shambles). Almost a year later, with lots of ups and downs for both of us, we’re in pretty good places in our lives. I’ll let her handle her end of things, but here is a little review of 2010 for me, in no particular order:

1. I trained for two half marathons, and ran one. The reason I signed up for the races is because I really hate running – at least I thought I did. It turns out, that once I’m past four miles; I enjoy it. The fact that I have to get to four to feel that way is sort of terrible though. Anyway, I ran the race and completed all my goals: don’t die, finish in under three hours and don’t have to pee in the woods. 2010: The Year of “I’ll Take the Physical Challenge”.
2. I went to Costa Rica with two of my best friends. We explored the rain forest, stayed at a luxury resort, met the dumbest nature guide in the world, got drunk before 9 am and laughed a ton. 2010: The Year of Exploration.
3. I moved from New York City to Boston. I never really wanted to move to New York in the first place, but moved for love. That didn’t work out, but I fell in love with a lot of amazing people there. I miss my New York friends SO much it hurts, but we’re fortunate to be pretty close to each other. Luckily, I’ve been able to have 1-2 visitors a month since moving up here. I know I made the right decision to move, and I’ve been so lucky to have made a lot of new friends and also reconnect with old friends. 2010: The Year of Changed Addresses.
4. I’ve come to terms with how I look. Like most people, I grew up with a mom who was very critical of her looks in front of me. This developed a lot of unhealthy habits when I was younger, but now when I look in the mirror I don’t see a horror show. I see someone who is actually kind of cute, and sometimes pretty. I’m also more confident about my body, too. Of course I can always find the parts that should be thinner and all that noise, but I’m OK with how I look … finally. I’m trying not to get wrapped up in being annoyed at myself for all that time wasted thinking I was a big, fat mess and just focus on the positive: my traffic jam booty and my cupcakes. 2010: The Year of Vanity.
5. I put myself “out there” as far as dating goes. This year I’ve gone on more dates than ever. While nothing has really panned out, I’m proud of myself for at least trying. I’ve been (mostly) single for the last three years, but I’ve met a lot of different types of guys – some crazy and others crazier. 2010: The Year of Dating.
6. I had a fling with a hot “teen” model/stand-up comedian. He was really 24, but same difference, and he thought I was gorgeous and hilarious. 2010: The Year of Holy Crap, You’re So Hot, Wait, Those Are Considered Washboard Abs, Right, and You Want to Make Out with Me?!
7. I was a vegan for three hours. 2010: The Year of Bacon.
8. I’ve already detailed out stuff about my dad on here, so let’s move on, but it’s been a long year for me emotionally. I’m not the best at talking about my feelings; I’m better at listening to other people’s problems. This year I’ve gotten much, much better at talking about things of substance. In fact, I talked for about 10 minutes straight about my feelings a few months ago. It was incredible. 2010: The Year of Feelings About Feelings.
9. I went camping with some of my best friends in Boston. We slept in tents, on the ground, in 40 degree weather. We ate so many meals that we had to come up with new names for them (Breakfast, B’Breakfast, Brunch, B’Brunch and “Uhhhhh”). We wrapped everything in bacon and put it in an iron skillet and then put it in our mouths. 2010: The Year of (More) Bacon.

A lot more happened, but that’s the highlight reel. I’m not really sure what’s on deck for 2011, but I’m looking forward to it and hopefully not putting too much pressure on it to perform. I do at least know one song that will be on next year’s soundtrack. This is the anthem, put your damn hands up:

An Apology

Talking to a friend on the phone last night, she reminded me that now that she’s following my blog (ugh, that word), I need to write more. She’s right. I’m sorry, Internet. I’ve been neglectful. Here’s a list of what I’ve been up to, and I will try to expand on each item soon:
- I moved. Of course you know this because it’s pretty much all I’ve talked about on here.
- I started a new job. I like it. It’s incredibly different, but a good different. I’m the only employee without kids, and everyone wants to leave the office at 5 to get home to said carrier monkeys so it’s win-win.
- I went cross country with my brother. Actually, I guess it’s technically half-country as we drove from Massachusetts to Texas. I will detail this out – it was a great trip.
- I’m lazy and easily distracted. I was going to start writing last night, but checked out a documentary from the library on the Jonestown massacre (just keeping it light!) so I watched that instead.
- I’m out doing stuff. As part of my plan to insert myself (heh) into my existing Boston friends’ lives, I’ve been trying to make lots of plans and be social: I saw Aziz Ansari (thanks again, Chris!), I’m going to a Red Sox game next week, I went to see the Grease Sing-A-Long (Hi, Sarah!), went to the beach (directly below Logan airport’s flight path. Still not sure if I’m “tan” or just covered in jet fuel – but it’s awesome!), etc.
- I've been using the Internet for other things, ok? Do you guys KNOW how Sam Cooke died? It's crazy, read his Wikipedia page!
- I bought some beef jerky today, and that took up, like, 5 minutes. Don’t you feel like a creep when you buy that stuff? Right. I’m probably the only non-truck driver who buys that stuff, but still. Trust me.
So, those are my reasons for being absent, but I plan to write this weekend as I don’t really have any plans (This is new for me. I’m an insane planner, and the idea of a spontaneous weekend is stressing me out). Anyway, onward …

Affection, Balls, Beantown

Today I almost jumped over the counter at CVS and gave the clerk a hug. I'm sick, and I feel like that would have made me feel much better. It's not the first time this particular clerk has made me feel this way. She calls everyone sweetheart and honey. She even told me to feel better and didn't judge me for buying disgusting knee highs. Ugh, I love her so much.
I think I've been craving that sort of motherly affection a lot more lately.
My mom sent me this adorable card in the mail "just because" that said so many nice things like she thinks of me often and that she wishes she could be there in person to cheer me on during the half-marathon (help - three weeks away!). It made me cry it was so sweet. (Although, to be fair, I might have been crying because my friends and I tried to go to an ALL meatball restaurant in the Lower East Side that night, and there was an hour and half long wait so we didn't go. We were really looking forward to spending an entire meal trying to say "balls" as much as possible.)

In other news: I'm interviewing for a job today that would place me back up in New England again. Career wise, I think it would be a really great move, and I've always wanted to move back to Boston; I just didn't think there would be potential for that so soon. On a personal level, it'd place me closer to my East Coast family (about a 1/2 mile away from them, actually) and I do have a few friends from college days still in the area that I'd love to be closer to. On top of all that, Boston's awesome. I love that city so much, and not in a sad "let's recreate the good, old days" kind of way - it's just an amazing city. On the other hand, only recently have I really started to appreciate that I live in the "greatest city in the world" and currently have some of the best friends I've ever had in my life.
It's a lot to think about, and (despite not appearing that way) I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself here.

School Daze

I've been in an elementary school twice in the last two days.
The first time was last night for an event put on by Found Magazine. My friend at work had been helping the creator, Davy Rothbart, order books for his events and it turns out they’re both from Ann Arbor, MI. He put her on the list plus one. At the end of the event, we went up on stage to introduce ourselves to Davy. He asked if we wanted to go out later with him and friends, so we ended up going for drinks at Niagara on the Lower East Side.
Within seconds of showing up at the bar, we found Davy and one of his friends introduced himself to us. “Hi, I’m Steve,” he said. I don’t remember what I said, but in my head it went like this: Holy shit, you’re Steve Buscemi and you’re gripping my hand.
We were also introduced to the guy who heads up the New York side of Found, James. The world being small and all, I’ve met James before. We met two years ago when I was on an awful date - not with James. It was a blind date in every sense of the word. The guy had gone to a Dan Deacon concert the night before and his glasses were smashed during the dancing. He said, “I THINK you’re attractive, but I can’t really see you.” Anyway, we were walking down the street together, he bumped into James, who is his neighbor, and the three of us went to the now-defunct comedy show Invite Them Up at Raffifi.
After awhile we left Niagara and went to some bar with a pool table. I played pool with a guy named Scorpion, I believe. But, I realized it was 3:30 am and I knew I had to go home because I had to volunteer this morning to play team sports with kids at the elementary school down the street from my apartment. I woke up at 9 am (I may or may not have been a little drunk still), looked in the mirror and it was ROUGH.
I didn’t take my make-up off before I went to bed and had mascara everywhere, I woke up in the same shirt I was wearing yesterday and at some point in the night, my friend grabbed a pen and wrote “I Love U” on my chest (to which I replied via pen: Don’t go chasing H2O-falls) and it wouldn’t come off. So, my second time in an elementary school in two days wasn’t my finest. I just really hope when we started playing tag, dodgeball and basketball, I didn’t smell like booze.

No Shot in Hell

Tonight, some co-workers in my department are challenging two other departments to a shot contest. Nothing says "Veteran's Day" like a night of shooting booze competitively. How do you determine who wins, you ask? I'm fuzzy on the official rules, but I believe that whoever is sick first is eliminated.
It's all going to happen at 1-2-3 Burger Shot Beer in Hell's Kitchen. This bar's gimmick is $1 burgers, $2 shots and $3 beers. I was asked to represent the team, but there is no way I can compete. I've had a long-running history of poor decisions and consequences once I've taken shots.
The first time I ever tried alcohol was by way of a shot. During a spring break in high school, I went down to Ensenada in Baja California, Mexico with a friend of mine and her parents. My friend's parents were the ones whose drinking motto was, "I don't care if you drink, as long as it's in my house (or with me in another country)." They also thought the best way to get drunk for the first time was to get there as quickly as possible.
We went to a bar, akin to Senor Frog's, and they ordered us a bucket of beer. I was so scared being in a (kinda) foreign country, about to have a drink. (to set the scene a little further: I was such a good kid growing up; I think I was still in Girl Scouts at the time, and there's a 95% chance that I was wearing khakis and a cardigan from the Gap when this happened) While waiting for our beer, a man wearing a black leather apron was walking around the bar with a whistle in his mouth. My friend's parents motioned him over, where, following their direction, the leather man grabbed my cheeks to open my mouth. He poured tequila down my gullet, put a napkin over my mouth and shook my head - all while blowing his whistle in my ear. That was it. It was over. Drunk. Drunk. Drunk.
This is where it all came off the rails. Within an hour, I rode a mechanical bull, took a picture with a donkey named "Bimbo" on the street and sliced my forehead open with a butterfly knife - because at that point, I didn't understand the mechanics of a switch blade.
There are more stories, even leading up to last weekend, but I think it will be best to avoid the contest tonight - for my safety, my career and my loved ones from the workplace.

Gadgets That Have Changed My Life

In order of appearance, here are a few gadgets that have changed my life:

1. The Barbie Dream House: For so long I'd been playing with The Heart Family dolls, the least popular, now discontinued, toy for young girls and confused boys. The Heart Family was designed to teach kids the importance of family and the answer to why Barbie can't have kids: because she's not married. You can't have kids outside of marriage, you know? One Christmas, my younger sister got the Dream House, complete with elevator, squealing tea kettle and "working" faucet. My dad set it up in our garage; we played for hours, inhaling gas fumes all the while.

2. Talkboy: Again, a gift for my sister that changed my life. It was mostly for my love of Home Alone 2, although I recorded myself singing a song about "losing my shoe" that my sister later discovered on the tape. She said, "That's really good! I don't remember singing that, but I sound good!" With arms crossed, I smiled smugly whilst dreaming of my recording contract with Frankie Sharp of Sharp Records.

Fast forward many years, ok maybe 1 or 2 ...

3. iPod and all its various accoutrement: This may seem obvious, but for many years I had a Dell DJ - again, the less popular of what was available. I got it for Christmas because my mom saw it was one of Oprah's Favorite Things, which I'm very grateful for, but it became unusable when I bought my beautiful Mac computer. Dell didn't make software to upload songs from a Mac (and their customer service rep basically said, "duh" when I asked if they did), so I had to make the switch last year. Now, I listen to it all day at work, I have a speaker dock for my room, one of those obnoxious arm bands for outdoor runs and a chord in my car.

4. Bluetooth Headsets: It's only changed my life in that now I know what unbridled hatred for an inanimate object feels like.

And, finally, the newest addition to gadgets which have changed my life. This little guy:

5. An (illegal at work) space heater for my office: My friend - some may say best, now - is loaning it to me until her side of the office feels like the tundra mine does. I can't even tell you how warm my legs are right now.