The Worst Part About Moving ...

... besides packing and saying good-bye to friends, is thinking you're going to get murdered. Putting your room up on Craiglist to try to find a subletter is a really nerve-wracking thing to do, and when you haven't been sleeping at all for the last week or so, it makes you even more paranoid of who is going to show up.
Yesterday, a girl who contacted me to take my room emailed to see it. I gave her my phone number if she had any other questions, and then she started texting me. We set up a time - between 8:30-9 am today - for her to come by and see the place.
The whole "not sleeping" thing is getting REALLY annoying. I haven't had a good night's sleep since Wednesday, June 2nd. Some of it has been my fault (see: thinking it's a good idea to sleep outside in the rain on a Saturday night), but it's mostly that my brain refuses to shut off. I'm nervous if I made the right decision, how am I going to pack up everything, will my NY friends still be my friends when I move away, will my Boston friends shun me when I move back, is anyone going to show up to my going away drinks - I am a ball of crazy. So, today, like every other day, I'm wide awake at 4:30 am.
Sitting on my couch this morning, waiting for this girl to show up, I'm getting more and more paranoid: why haven't I talked to this girl on the phone before? Where is she? She's 45 minutes late. The best possible answer I came up with is that "she" is actually a "he" who is a Craigslist predator. He's running late because he's busy murdering someone else. I came up with a plan to not buzz "her" into the building, but to go to the front door and get a good look before letting her in. I decided to call to see if she was running late, but her voicemail didn't have her voice on it, it was just the automated message. DEFINITELY a murderer.
She never showed up, so I'm guessing she's being detained by police right now. I also am definitely going crazy and desperately need some sleep. Help.

Affection, Balls, Beantown

Today I almost jumped over the counter at CVS and gave the clerk a hug. I'm sick, and I feel like that would have made me feel much better. It's not the first time this particular clerk has made me feel this way. She calls everyone sweetheart and honey. She even told me to feel better and didn't judge me for buying disgusting knee highs. Ugh, I love her so much.
I think I've been craving that sort of motherly affection a lot more lately.
My mom sent me this adorable card in the mail "just because" that said so many nice things like she thinks of me often and that she wishes she could be there in person to cheer me on during the half-marathon (help - three weeks away!). It made me cry it was so sweet. (Although, to be fair, I might have been crying because my friends and I tried to go to an ALL meatball restaurant in the Lower East Side that night, and there was an hour and half long wait so we didn't go. We were really looking forward to spending an entire meal trying to say "balls" as much as possible.)

In other news: I'm interviewing for a job today that would place me back up in New England again. Career wise, I think it would be a really great move, and I've always wanted to move back to Boston; I just didn't think there would be potential for that so soon. On a personal level, it'd place me closer to my East Coast family (about a 1/2 mile away from them, actually) and I do have a few friends from college days still in the area that I'd love to be closer to. On top of all that, Boston's awesome. I love that city so much, and not in a sad "let's recreate the good, old days" kind of way - it's just an amazing city. On the other hand, only recently have I really started to appreciate that I live in the "greatest city in the world" and currently have some of the best friends I've ever had in my life.
It's a lot to think about, and (despite not appearing that way) I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself here.

Outlook Not So Good

Next Monday night I set up my first appointment with a therapist. Nothing too dramatic to address on the Internet (I'm fine, I'm FINE, ok?), I've just never talked to a neutral party about any issues before. My work gives eight free sessions: you locate a doctor, get an authorization number and confirm your appointment.
Now, I'm a VERY organized person. I love post-it notes, file folders and label makers. I use my Outlook calendar for work and social appointments, in addition to my cell phone and a datebook I have with me at all times.
After a very stressful week working a gift fair for work, I came into the office with a full voicemail box and one message from my soon-to-be therapist. "Ah, yes, please call us back regarding your February 2nd appointment with [name redacted]." I called back immediately - as a very organized and "together" person would - and they had the nerve to tell me I never phoned them back to confirm my appointment.
I thoroughly explained to them all the steps I had taken to make the date (including my appointment confirmation number!) and it didn't matter to them. "Could you come in at lunchtime?" "I don't take lunches," I said. "How about February 9th? Could you come in at lunch then?" "I don't TAKE lunches!" I said, losing my patience. "Well, we will call you on February 3rd to confirm if [name redacted] can meet with you after work on February 9th." This is where I lose it.
I'm so tired that I just start crying on the phone, "You mean I have to call you to confirm if I MIGHT have an appointment and I had a confirmation number written in two places for my originally-confirmed appointment?"
I'm really hoping my new therapist isn't exercising some radical form of tough-love therapy. Don't you think the last thing you want to do to someone who needs to make an appointment with a professional is make them cry?

Advice for the Ages

I recently asked a friend for a bit of advice and she said:
"Listen to Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, drink a glass of wine to calm your nerves and BE YOURSELF!!!"
While it doesn't matter what I needed advice on, it's probably some of the best and most universal advice I've gotten.
Feeling down in the dumps?
"Listen to Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, drink a [bottle] of wine to calm your nerves and BE YOURSELF!!!"
Nervous about a big presentation at work?
"Listen to Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, drink a glass of [a corporately-approved beverage] to calm your nerves and BE YOURSELF!!!"
Constipated?
"Listen to Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, drink a glass of [liquid laxatives] to calm your nerves and BE YOURSELF!!!"