Saturday, January 23, 2010

Fun with Netflix Envelopes

I'm in the process of packing up my apartment and moving ALL THE WAY down the street to a bigger apartment, so I'm running low on entertainment. This morning's entertainment: Netflix envelop origami!
A swan!
A shirt!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Is That a Baby in Your Uterus, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

I have been traveling pretty steadily in the last few weeks for my job, with the longest stint being in Atlanta for just under a week, a Wednesday through Sunday. The Sunday I left, I was actually only going to be home for a few hours with a car service picking me up at 2:30 am the next day, Monday, to head to Dallas. Actually, the car service never showed up and I had to beg a random cab driver at 3:00 am to "step on it" to Newark Airport and I'd tip big (read: show him my boobs for five minutes in a ROW).
So with little sleep, a lot of taking off and landing in the past week, a week before my "moon cycle" and no pooping for a long time, I actually made my flight. Honestly, what's with not being able to number 2 unless I'm at home? Gross, right? Anyway, please picture an atypically larger-than-normal bloated me. If you've never met me, just take whatever mental picture you already have (no doubt this) and add some weight below the belly button.
I arrive at my meeting in Dallas and am greeting the sales reps I haven't seen for a year, and one of them says, "Let me be the first to say 'Congratulations'". Well, I figured she was referring to the recent announcement of the added responsibilities for my job - not a promotion. Don't worry, guys, I'll just do two people's jobs for the price of one. Anyway, I was all ready with my modest response when she cuts me off by asking when I'm due.
When I'm tired, I'm emotional. When I'm NOT a pregnant woman, I'm emotional. I'm a sensitive girl. So, after telling this "sales rep" - if that's really her name - that you're NEVER supposed to ask a girl if she's pregnant unless they say something first; I spent the rest of the meeting trying not to cry. Being pregnant sounds awesome, but being constipated and mistaken for pregnant is the OPPOSITE of awesome.
So, please, don't EVER ask a girl this - EVER. I've since de-bloated and feel amazing with all the running I've been doing, and am very thankful that my self confidence has finally showed up after 27 years of being absentee. Otherwise, I would have developed a major complex over this. That woman's still a bitch, though.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I'm With Stupid

I found out why today exercise is bad for you (read: me). With all the concentration on my running, I've stopped using my brain. After running 3.5 miles on my lunch break (!!), I was rushing back to work and thought I'd forgotten my running shoes in the locker room. They weren't in my gym bag, just my soaking wet clothes and my shower flip-flops.
I took out my phone to call my runner person to see if she could grab them for me and give them to me at book club tonight (I read!). It was then that I realized, on my way back to the gym, that I was wearing the running shoes the whole time. I'm so stupid.

p.s. I "won" the lottery and now I HAVE to keep training