I'm fancy

I attended a Fourth of July party at a penthouse overlooking Madison Square Park and next weekend I will be lodging at the Ritz-Carlton in Buckhead, GA - an upscale neighborhood outside Atlanta.

Before any jealousy sets in; I'll need to recap what happened at this party. I was invited because a good friend of mine from work is dating one of the tenants of said penthouse. I've met him before and they couldn't be a cuter couple. The apartment is at 22nd and Broadway and overlooks my favorite: Madison Square Park. From the terrace you can see the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building.

I brought my friends STEVIE and Gabriel with me so they could experience such a fancy night, and so I would have witnesses to back up my bragging. When I walked into the apartment, I expected to be greeted by Mr. Belvedere and large quantities of imported beers and brie cheese. Instead, there were half a dozen cases of Miller Light, tons of "bros" and a very nice dining room table covered with lawn trash bags and a beer pong set-up. Everyone at the party was extremely nice, but so not what I expected.

Time passed and Gabriel showed up with a lovely bottle of white wine. I was walking him into the kitchen to get it chilled in the custom Sub Zero refridgerator when one of the bros stopped us. "DUDE, let's get that crack-a-lackin' right away; set up on the table!" ... meaning in the cups for "chardonnay pong".

We gathered out on the terrace soaking in the view, huddled under an umbrella and waited for the fireworks to start. From up there we could see both the Hudson and East Rivers so we were primed for a great view. Unfortunately, a new building was being constructed to the right of our view towards the East River, so we only saw about a third of the show. But, the sky lit up in some VERY patriotic colors.

After some time outside, the three of us went in to sit on the couch and drink the chilled white and people watch. This one guy in the kitchen totally reminded me of that dude from Napoleon Dynamite and I said, "That guy is a D bag." and Stevie, being the hilarious girl that she is, said "Which ONE?" Good summation, buddy.

I'd have to say the only low-light of the evening was when after we left; I went back up the 30 some-odd floors to get my umbrella I had forgotten to discover that someone stole it. Umbrellas are replaceable, but it was my souvenir Life Magazine umbrella from when I used to work for them. When it opens up it says, "Is it Friday yet?" I learned two things: crime is everywhere and I'll never have an umbrella with as good a sense of humor as that one again.

Either way, I don't think I'll have another opportunity to have that view and touch what it's like to live like that ... until I'm ordering around people at the Ritz next week. And, just so you know, I'm still keeping it "real". Here is what my Saturday night consisted of: Wearing socks I bought at Kmart, pants I bought at Wal-Mart, drinking some Cherry Coke Zero and watching Sigur Ros' "Heima."

Glamour needs the night off sometimes.