Quit HOGging the Supplies (Get it?)

Last night, I went to the two Rite Aids in my neighborhood to buy a little hand sanitizer as ammo to the Swine Flu everyone is freaking out about. They were completely out. The Rite Aid downstairs at my job in Rockefeller Center was out, too.
They were also sold out of face masks and a lot of their hand soap. I'm trying not to get worried about this, but the first U.S. outbreaks were at the same high school my ex-boyfriend and two of my close friends went to in Queens. I live in Queens, therefore, I probably have Swine Flu (although hard to tell when my allergies are raging right now, too).
This morning on the train into work, I saw a woman who was breathing into a pink hand towel. Last night I walked home and passed a big group of people wearing face masks. I went on a date with a guy on Monday and he offered me hand sanitizer within the first few minutes of seeing each other. Everyone else is making me feel like I should worry more. Kind of like my mom's worries when I first got my driver's license: "It's not you I'm worried about, it's the other drivers!"

Anticlimactic Car Accident Post

This weekend I went to Newburyport, Mass. where my aunt, uncle and grammie live. If you live in the Northeast you know how beautiful the weather was this weekend; if you don’t live in the Northeast, well, the weather was beautiful.
On Saturday, my aunt, brother, grammie and I went to Salisbury Beach to sit outside for a little while and bask in the sun and watch boats putter about where the Merrimack River meets the Atlantic Ocean. On the drive back from the beach to my aunt and uncle’s house, we were rear-ended pretty hard. My grandmother was wearing a pink Boston Red Sox hat that flew off her head and I screamed loudly because I do not deal well with surprises – like, not even a little bit. I’ve had freak-outs so bad that I’ve needed to be slapped.
Thankfully, we were only going about 15 miles per hour, at most, and everyone is ok for the most part. The girl who hit us accidentally accelerated when she was trying to break in order to tend to her toddler son in the backseat. That was her first mistake. Her second was not driving with a license. Her third was not having up-to-date insurance, and her last mistake was being British (U-S-A! U-S-A!).
We called the cops to make it all official, and really, there’s not much to this story except I definitely have a sore neck and was a little shaken up. So, feel sorry for me, ok?

No Use For a Musto

I saw Michael Musto on the street yet again. He was wearing socks and sandals and walking his bike down Sixth Avenue.
I think he’s a lot like that pop punk band No Use For a Name. In high school, I listened to Bjork, Radiohead, anyone who would be performing at Lillith Fair, and a few ska bands. My first concert was for the band Save Ferris, with No Use For a Name opening. I despise pop punk music, but growing up in Southern California it was difficult to avoid – much like No Use For a Name. I’ve seen that band more times than I ever wanted (read: once was too many), and all because I was there to see someone else and they were opening.
So, Michael Musto, I never really want to see you, yet you keep popping up over and over.

Team: That's What She Said

Saturday I ran a 4-mile race with a few of my girlfriends. Our team name? That’s What She Said.
I woke up and had to be on the subway by 8 a.m. Even though it was early, it was filled to the brim (That’s What She Said). Soon, I was riding it with my friend (TWSS). You know, because we live in the same neighborhood.
Outside it was starting to get really warm. I was feeling warm, too (TWSS). We met up with a few other friends in Central Park. Another friend decided to lead us in a group stretch (TWSS). I’ve never felt more limber (TWSS)! It was definitely important for us to stretch because who knew how long we’d be going for (TWSS).
The park was so crowded with lots of athletes ready to run! With a scream and whistle, we were getting off (TWSS) on our start – not before we had a group cheer, of course. All of us did it at a different pace (TWSS).
There were so many curves and ups and downs (TWSS). Halfway through, my hip really started to hurt; I guess I wasn’t used to all that movement (TWSS)!
As much as we would have liked to, we couldn’t finish together (TWSS). But, wow, what a great time!

The Best Word I've Used in Scrabble To Date

YETI: Only 7 points, but what a feeling.

Can't Spell Panic Without an "Eye"

Sometimes I wear glasses, but most of the time I walk around semi-blind because I refuse to wear contacts. The idea of sticking my fingers in and around my eyes completely disgusts me. I’ve never tried before, but the other day I got a glimpse of what it would be like.
You know when you buy new clothes/accessories, one of the first things you do is remove the price tag? Well, there are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t, and those who rip price tags off and those who use scissors. I’m the latter and the former.
I bought a hair clip from H&M and was fixing to put my hair up and just ripped the tag. Something malfunctioned and a tiny piece of plastic flew right into my left eye. I screamed – a lot – and looked in the mirror trying to find the piece of plastic. It was stuck UNDER my eye lid. I could SEE it under my eyelid when it was closed. Continuing to scream and say “Oh no” over and over again with visions of eye patches and parrots on my shoulder running through my head, I had to dig around my eye and find the piece of plastic. This struggle lasted at least two minutes, but felt like 30 hours. Both my eyes were revolting, tearing, stinging and I finally found the plastic and vowed never to have contacts because I’m sure the experience is exactly the same thing.

9021-Oh-My-God, who are you?

Last night, I had the pleasure of going to a book party for Tori Spelling’s new release, Mommywood.
The party was at a restaurant near Central Park, and I went with a few friends from work. Within seconds of showing up outside the place, a car pulled up and Project Runway’s Christian Siriano (!!) emerged.
Once inside, I saw another familiar face that I just couldn’t place. It was this guy who was walking around in really tight spandex pants and ladies footwear. He was wearing insanely dark eyeliner a la Jared Leto, and it was driving me crazy – who IS that guy?
A colleague with very few, if any, social anxieties - unlike me - grabbed him as he walked by and said, “Who are you? You are fabulous!” He thanked her, continued walking as she shouted, “You better come back!” Later, and after he didn’t find us again, the guest of honor arrived and we walked closer to be within proximity to one of my television heroes – high school virgin cum clothing designer Donna Martin.
There’s not much to say about her except she is very thin, and prettier in person. She was filming for her reality show, but didn’t mingle or anything like that. Bored within a few seconds of spotting her, my friend and I found the mystery dude and started talking to him about him.
After a few minutes, and still not any closer to figuring out who he was, I asked why I should know him. He said, “Oh, I’m in a band.” No, that wasn’t it. I just nodded and went back to talking to my friend and his friend, a model (Who I asked if he was gay because I’d want to set him up with my boss. He’s not. Apparently, I was into asking really gauche questions that night!). Mystery dude walked away shortly thereafter and I asked his friend, “Really, where have I seen your friend?” He answered and neurons made connections, cosmos aligned, tectonic plates converged and I exclaimed, “Oh my God! That’s it!” He was a coach on the MTV Made series for “I Want to Be Made into a Rock Star”.
It was sad on a few levels: a) he was a Made coach b) he was ashamed to admit it c) I got so excited that the mystery was solved d) I watch Made.
This is him. This is his amazing video.
Overall, it was a fun night with lots of – what I consider - “A” list celebrities in attendance.

From the Embarassment Files: Item #876

I'm finally ready to talk about it.
The flight back from Florida's work trip was uneventful. I had some light conversation about the book I'm reading, did some work and Su Doku puzzles from my complimentary USA Today the hotel left me. While the flight was uneventful, walking from the gate to the baggage claim certainly was not.
You know when people get into car accidents and sometimes a passenger who is asleep in the back is the least injured because their body just goes limp? Well, I was so exhausted after busy days filled with IMPORTANT meetings and late nights getting nutty in the "hospitality suite" with co-workers that as I was walking with my boss from the plane - probably gesticulating wildly about something - I completely barreled into this guy who was standing in the middle of the walkway typing away on his Blackberry.
He came out of nowhere, I swear.
I couldn’t stop my body so I just sort of melted into his suitcase and fell; I was splayed across the walkway at LaGuardia Airport. Of course my boss and I were laughing so hard that I could barely stand; I didn’t hurt myself (or so I thought), but all I could do was tell the guy I was sorry for beating up his suitcase. I’m such an embarrassment when I’m tired.
Of course, when we were back in the office my boss thought it would be funny to tell co-workers about my fall, so I spent a few days recreating the event and laughing over the tears. I'm not sure if it was the original fall or one of my many "dramatizations" about the fall, but my left hand's thumb has been killing me.