Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A Lady on the Street, but a Freak in the ... 24-Hour Shaw's

Herewith are the steps to make the staff at a 24-hour Shaw's Supermarket hate their jobs, lives, next door neighbor's cats, etc:
Step #1: Pick up closest NYC girlfriends from South Station for one of the better weekends on record.
Step #2: Bring said friends back to your apartment for a cheese plate spread and several seasonal craft beers (Post Road Pumpkin, Sierra Nevada Tumbler, etc).
Step #3: Go out to Shay's in Harvard Square, get drunk, get hit on by a man with a pony tail and a fanny pack, stumble 1 mile towards home, witness friend pee in alley, have said friend recount tale of strange man watching her pee.
Step #4: Arrive at Shaw's.
Step #5: Split up, best to divide and conquer. Hear friends yelling all over the store, including one friend harass a man in a sea green shirt asking where the Ruffles are, he insists he does not work there, she couldn't care less and tells him she's simply looking for sympathy (AND Ruffles), watch same friend try to "level" with our check-out girl "Sarah" and let her know she "gets it" and also something about "the man", watch other two friends bicker about the color of the various onion dips and how they look "too grey".
Step #6: Arrive back at apartment and collectively consume: 2 large frozen pizzas, at least 1 pound (of the 3 purchased) of Peanut Butter M&Ms, entire can of onion dip, one half bag of Ruffles Potato Chips.

Please note: steps 3 and 5 are VITAL.

1 comment:

Lillie McSmith said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

HA

HA

Whew.